From reading Power and Love we know that it is difficult to embody both power and love. We as humans tend to fall into predominately one of the two camps. Not saying that one is absent, all or nothing, but that one is dominate:
“For political or philosophical or psychological reasons, we often mistakenly choose to pay attention either only to power or only to love. Most of us prefer one of these drives to the other, or deny one in favor of the other. Even if we understand the need to employ both drives, when under pressure and frightened and constrained, we often revert to our habitual choice of either power or love.” (71)
What camp, power or love, do you believe you favor or deny? How might you begin embodying the two? Is this possible?
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ReplyDeleteThe Change Comes from Within
ReplyDeleteI think that the last few chapters about “power and love” and how they were used in different contexts in Kahane’s life were very interesting and informative. He gave great examples about how when both are not equally distributed, chaos and stumbling occur. I think that I tend to favor my power when I am with certain individuals, in small groups, or when there is seemingly no one else there to step up. Yet, I know that when I work collectively sometimes and I am too tired, or don’t feel like contributing, I rely solely on my love attributes. I know that if I embodied both during both times in my life I think more could get done. For example, if I was not so lazy and decided to embody my power and not just my love attributes when working collectively, I could have much more productive group efforts. Kahane phrases it perfectly when he states “it’s always us who is blocking us” (76). I know it is my choice to either rely on my power or love attributes, yet sometimes I still choose to only use one. “What must we do when we find ourselves falling down? Above all we must refuse to choose between power and love. We must keep both drives in view and in hand. In this way they will remain connected, and each will make the other more generative” (71). I think this is the ideal way to overcome the stumbling in our lives. We need to be productive human beings and use both attributes granted to us in life. I think this is completely possible, but it must start from within. It must start with a passion for both and a passion for humanity. We must want change for the greater good.
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ReplyDeleteWhenever i find myself in a crunch, stressed out, or in a situation where i feel like i am overwhelmed, i always employ love. I seem to shut down, and become very irritable, confused, and I really just baby myself. Its hard for me to really categorize whether or not i have employed just power or just love. were as in my normal life it is hard for me to distinct, mainly because i am not conscious of it, i merely just fall into my habit of “love.” But during dance class, I can relate, and analyze where i favor one or the other. I know that when i am struggling during a particularly hard combination by default i employ power. in my brain, and dancing, power is a more technical straight forward way to approach a series of movement. I break down each movement and think about the intellect behind the movement, mainly working mentally. But not “working with [these] polarities directly..” has incredibly stifled my growth as a dancer, making the “potential for [me] to achieve a creative breakthrough through ... limited.” (69). It has taken me out of my body, with side affects such as losing trust with in the knowledge of the body. Working with Love means to literally add love to your dancing, artistry, passion. It is incredibly hard to keep these two camps in a constant conversation with each other. If we do not attempt to mesh these two together, working only in one camp, we will get only one outcome thus limiting our growth.
ReplyDeleteLove Vs. Power: Finding the Balance
ReplyDelete“Power without love is reckless and abusive, or worse, and love without power is sentimental and anemic, or worse. We can see both of these degenerative forms in our world, in our work, and in ourselves. Choosing either power or love is always a mistake. How then can we exercise power and love together?”
The author brings up a good question in this quote. How can we exercise power and love together? I agree with the author with the fact that balance is needed in our world today. When looking at the two together, I think of the power part of the combination control and love as love. If you have control without love, things will not turn out well, just as if you have love without control. Both can be very destructive things to both the world, or in an individual sense. Which is why in order to make it, we need to find that balance that gives us both power and love.
I also like when the author used the reference of walking for the balance between these two things, because as he said, it really is a dynamic balance between the two. You can't use both of them both entirely at the same time, but as you are using one you still must be aware of the other. If you are using on or the other and forget about the other, just as in walking, if you forget about one leg while you are using the other, you will lose your balance and fall. I believe this is the way to find balance in your life. Though you can not use both in their entirety at the exact same time, one must always be aware that both do exist and keep each other in check. Once people start to realize this, this is when the walking can begin.
“Power without love is reckless and abusive, or worse, and love without power is sentimental and anemic, or worse.” (Kahane, p.53)
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read this book, I didn’t know that love and power were actually supposed to work together because it would create a bigger impact. If I had a choice to pick either or I would probably choose love; love on its own can be pretty powerful. Not only does it allow acceptance but also respect. Love can make you see things in different points of view and you are able to understand things to a new level. By combining both love and power, you can get someone who uses their power in an unselfish way and who understands what everyone needs. They are able to make fair decisions and encourage equality; like the saying goes “two is better then one.” Of course putting love and power would be very difficult, but in the end it will make us much more stronger. “Falling down hurts, but we learn from it” (Kahane, p. 74). We all have to struggle and fall to learn from our mistakes and make better choices in the future. We actually benefit more from learning the hard way. It also gives us something to live for because we worked so hard for something, it should motivate us to do better.
Knowing and Using What I Love-Courtney Russell
ReplyDeleteWe’ve all heard the old adage “know thyself,” and if anyone has seen a counselor or therapist of any kind, they have been told to love themselves. Both are valid, both are necessary, and both are challenging. But the true value of these challenges is realized in their fusion. Personally, I tend to question everything, including my own temperament, opinions, and dreams. This questioning is my power. It is how I learn and evaluate situations in order to find solutions to “tough problems.” Unfortunately, I question myself so much that I sometimes ignore the answers and consequently neglect to “do something very fruitful now (Kahane, 64)!”
Wallowing in what ifs can not only paralyze an individual on their road to self-realization, but can also break down a nation in the same respect. Using my own fault in this regard as an example, I care very dearly for the well-being of myself and others, but I question whether we deserve it. I am a skilled problem-solver and communicator, but I wonder if it is all just a waste of time. In reality the questions I, like many confused nations with clear desire and murky direction, should be posing are, “Where is the power here? What is each of the actors (including ourselves) trying to achieve and realize?...And where is the love here? How are the actors separated, and how are they unified (Kahane, 73)?”
When relating to power and love in my own life I seem to favor love over power. I feel like I put others interests before my own a lot of the time. I haven’t been the one to be known as a person to show their power or a come off as a leader. When it comes to my friends and family and the I always find myself thinking about their feelings and take into consideration what they want rather then only thinking about my wants and needs. I wouldn’t say that I don’t possess any power but I tend to show love more through my actions and personality.
ReplyDelete“When we ‘power’ someone, we ignore their interest; when we ‘love’ someone, we ignore our own concerns.” (95) Love and power seem to be on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. Even though they are so different, I do believe that it is possible to embody the two. At first, I found it really hard to see how one could balance out love and power. Then from reading “Power and Love” I see how they go hand in hand the more I read about Kahane’s experiences. In my own life sometimes I feel like a lot of people can take my love as a weakness and sometimes take advantage. People look at me and think that they can just step all over me or ask me for favors just because they know I will say yes. If I try to use power and love together I think it would make me a better and stronger person. If more people learn how to exercise power and love in unity I think more people will be able to make changes for the greater good.
From Martin-Miguel:
ReplyDeleteLove or Power?
My dad and I were the way to a restaurant to meet up with the rest of my family. So we had a discussion about Filipinos and the way Filipinos are. He told me of how in England that when the elderly needed a caretaker that most of the time, they request for Filipinos. Why is that? Because they have said out of all the caretakers they have ever taken care of them, they are the most versatile and caring. They would adjust to the needs of the elderly but still have enough leadership to tell them that they are going out of line and that they are there to guide and help them. So this shows that naturally in our culture we are full of love but care enough for people that they will step into the shoes of a leader for what’s best.
While I find this very much true, what I can say for myself is that I have been more of a person that cares for somebody rather than step up to the plate and show power. This is the person that I am! I am more empathetic than anything. So I can easily relate to people. At times I like to council people who turn to me for help. I would even be called “kuya” at times. “Kuya” means brother in tagalog so they would be able to be entrust with things that they wouldn’t tell anybody else. So in that sense I can be a leader. However for the most part I just go with the flow and that can sometimes lead to me being walked on. I do agree that balance is needed between love and power however it is hard to find that perfect balance as a person will always have one dominant over the other. Adam Kahane brings up a quote from Hampden-Turner and he says, “What makes contrasting values seem so oppositional is that both are presented to us at one moment in time. In reality, time is used to mediate these contrasts” (54). Although I am more empathetic than that of a leader, this passage sums up that you need balance out these things eventually even though you are presented of showing these features one at a time.